If I see one more Facebook status or Tweet saying 'So much for global warming!' (especially if followed by an LOL or Haha) I will head out to the pond, fold myself in to it and wait to be trapped under the ice where I will be unable to hear any more discussion of inclement weather.
Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of extreme sky excitement as much as the next person, you'll often find me kneeling awkwardly on a windowsill poking my head out of the window at the first rumble of thunder, but isn't all this snow-fever getting just a teensy bit out of hand? While I have no doubt that in the worst hit areas people are being severely inconvenienced by the white stuff but so far I've seen little evidence of much aside from good old fashioned Britishness (ie: going on) about the whole thing, for example the following struck me during a recent BBC news report:
1. A lot of people are being interviewed were in pubs. They can't get to work but they can get to the pub. This strikes me as the ideal situation for 99.9% of our population and somewhat ironic at the same time.
2. There is much concern about the elderly. Yet nobody needs to leave the house less than a pensioner. Provided they have a toasty central heating system, a well stocked fridge and an emergency three bar what's the beef? Oh, of course! You can't get down to the newsagents at 6am for your copy of The Sun and a packet of Golden Virginia.
3. Those complaining that their journeys are essential are fibbing. During one interview in a badly snowed in area of Scotland a couple announced that it was 'absolutely vital' that they were on the treacherous roads in their Cavalier (ok, it probably wasn't a Cavalier but it was definitely not a snowmobile). Why? Well they traveled from Hong Kong for a business meeting and now had to get back. Idiots. Number one: did your business meeting relate to, I don't know, MAINTAINING GRAVITY ON EARTH? Number two: your flight has probably been cancelled. If it hasn't been cancelled there will be another one - if you fly in from Hong Kong (snorty snort snort) for business meetings you can probably take the financial hit. Right kids? Number three: I can't even think of a number three which doesn't relate to the bizarre snow/sun glasses the woman in the not-Cavalier was wearing.
A Polish friend of mine pointed out that 'at home', where temperatures between January and March annually drop to a minimum of -20oC and where snow cover lasts for anywhere between 40 and 120 days a year, 'we just change tyres in winter and change them back after the snow finishes'. I have also overheard a German proclaim that in Germany at the first sign of snow residents begin clearing the paths outside their home and that most Canadians own a snowblower. Imagine that? Just getting on with it! Isn't that what we're supposed to be good at Brits?
While I quite accept that we're not used to snow and thus we don't keep special equipment in reserve I refuse to join in with the ridiculous Blitz Spirit which half of the population are displaying, as if each snowflake is falling from the sky wearing its own individual toothbrush moustache. Nor do I wish to join the throngs who are so terribly important that a bit of inclement weather has caused the downfall of modern civilisation because 'I can't get to my yoga class/conference/nan's house'.
Most of all though, MOST OF ALL, I am not going to click my teeth as I pull on my woolly hat and dryly comment to the nearest person 'so much for global warming eh? EH? *nudge*' Because, hang on just a moment, weren't we all quite au fait with the term 'Climate Change' until Christmas? Yes, Climate Change which suggests that the temperature may go down as well as up. I would venture so far as to say that this here cold, wet, white substance in my yard is fairly supportive of that very term, whether (and I'm not a climate change or weather expert, simply an irritating pedant with access to a PC) it was caused by a terrifying apocalyptic change in our atmosphere or whether its just a nice bit of snow which is JUST WHAT SOMETIMES HAPPENS.
Tell you what, So Much For Global Warming-ites, when we get that first toasty day in April, come round to mine in your shorts and flip flops and announce 'I don't know why people complain about global warming *stretch* *squint into the sun* *fart*' and we'll have another chat about it.
