my one-oh-one

Here are three things I like doing:

shouting at the television

saying 'YOU'RE WELCOME' loudly to people who don't say thank you when I hold the door

driving really s-l-ooooo-oooo-w-l-y in front of tailgaters

For several years I have been compiling a mental list of the things I would request permission to drop in to Room 101 should I become the kind of celebrity who might be asked to appear on semi-comedic BBC entertainment shows. I'm not even sure it runs anymore. Does it?

Anyway. There are a lot of things which rile me. I come from a long line of disgruntled types. By which I don't mean the sort of people who write letters to Points of View signed 'Disappointed of Darlington' but the sort of people who declare Paris to be 'a bit of a dump' or who can have an entire week spoiled by a late to arrive package or who find birthdays to be a bit of an inconvenience. A whole family of Walter Matthaus and Jack Lemmons, people who shrug and go 'it was alright I suppose, apart from...'

This is my own personal Room 101, a depository for my own personal grievances, a pigeonhole of perplexities, a ventricle for venting, a spitoon for bile, a decanter for my discontent. Etc, etc, etc, on and on and on.

I also love to hear other people's spleen venting so please do comment, message or just shout at the screen loudly and angrily whilst beating your chest in the manner of an irate Silverback who has just discovered an Attenborough cameraman in his neck of the jungle.